Shadow monsters and shots

The other evening, Oleg woke up around 2AM and crawled into bed with us.  After I woke up a bit, I took him back to bed.  I laid him down, tucked him in, and kissed him goodnight.  He kissed me back and told me to watch out for the Shadow monsters.  It was such a funny thing for him to say, as I’m sure he was not very awake either, but I understood what he meant.  All the night lights and lights from plugged in electronics definitely do create a lot of shadows that could be scary during the middle of the night.  The next morning I asked if any of the Shadow monsters were nice, but he told me that they were mean.

Today Oleg went for his 5-year-old check-up at the doctor’s (a bit late for various reasons).  He is very afraid of shots now so as soon as he saw on the calendar that he had to go to the doctor’s office he started asking about shots.  I told him from the start that I was pretty sure he was going to have to get a shot.  I told me he was going to be brave and not cry at all.  As the visit got closer, the frequency of asking about the shots increased, so I knew it was weighing on his mind.  Poor guy!  He continued to say that he was not going to cry and he was going to be brave, but he also began bargaining with me about how many shots he would receive.  He determined that 2 would be okay, but no more than that.  At the doctor’s office, his first question to everyone who entered the room was if he was going to get a shot.  Finally the moment of truth — one finger prick, one flu spray mist, and 3 shots.  The nurse stared with the nasal mist — no problem!  Then was the finger prick which he did not like and it hurt him.  After that we waited and read some books until the nurses came in for the shots.  As soon as they entered the room, he started to cry that he didn’t want any shots.  I held down his chest and arms while they gave him the shots and he cried the whole time, with an extra little yelp for each of the 3 shots.  Poor guy!  I told him he did a good job and he was very brave.  But he told me he was never coming to the doctor’s office again.  I assured him that it would be a long time — 12 months (maybe I should have said 365 days  :-)) before we would have to come again.  That appeased him a little, but I think it will take awhile before he forgets the shot pain.  I just need to keep emphasizing the positives — cool band aids, a pretzel, a sticker, and a coin to get a toy (actually 2 today because of the finger prick).

Bad dream

This morning Oleg had a bad dream.  He came into our room crying and inconsolable.  It took a minute to understand his words through his crying, but finally he told me that “Leia (from Star Wars) had gone down in the water and died.”  He was so very sad and upset.  Michael and I both hugged and tried to console him.  A little while later as I continued to try to console him, he said that Anakin would be upset and sad when Leia died.  I said yes, and then he told me that he was Anakin.  After some more time he said that Leia was with God for a little while but then she came back.  (I imagine this last part was based on what he learned from the Easter story of Jesus being raised from the dead.)  After about 10 minutes he was feeling better and ready to be a Storm Trooper firing on me and killing me (as usual).  Of course I want to analyze this to figure out why he had this bad dream.   Is it because Grandma and Grandpa were here to visit and then left?  Is he beginning to more fully understand his adoption story and it is causing him sorrow?  Or is he a 5-year-old boy with an active imagination even while dreaming?

So, Grandma and Grandpa D came to visit.  They came Sunday afternoon and stayed until Monday afternoon.  I think Oleg loved having them here to play with him.  He was a bit hyper on Sunday afternoon, but he seemed to calm down a bit by Monday.  Of course he was still full of energy at all times and kept them moving and playing.  I think everyone was tired by the end of the visit.  After Grandma and Grandpa left, Oleg even admitted to being tired and that is not something he admits very often at all!  In a couple weeks we will be headed to see Grandma and Grandpa E and other family members.  I think Oleg will have a blast visiting and playing with them too.

“Do you know what?” has become Oleg’s phrase.  It is almost always followed with who he is pretending to be at that point in time.  He has been… Anakin, a Storm Trooper, Spider man, Iron Man, Bolt (dog from cartoon movie), Dash (from The Incredibles), Optimus Prime, etc.  If he watches a movie or TV show, then he is acting it out.  He will also then assign you a character so you can join in his pretend playing.  He has even started to give people pretend names when we are out in public and someone asks his name.  In some ways, it’s cute.  In other ways, it is annoying because the other person (who has innocently asked his name) is very confused.  I think my favorite example of this recently was at swimming class.  When we went to check in, he told the lady his name was “Tony (Stark)” then I correct it with his real name so she could find him on the list.  Then I tried to explain he was pretending to be “Tony Stark” or Iron Man.  The lady looked at me and said, “Really?  Did you know we (the Community Center) have a 67 year old man who is doing an Iron Man competition?  It’s amazing!”  Um, yeah, very impressive, but not what Oleg meant at all.  Some people, usually young college-age guys, get what he is saying and play along with him.  He LOVES that!

We went to Virginia over the Fourth of July weekend.  We haven’t been there in almost 2 years and I really wanted to go back to visit family and friends.  It was a long drive, but we had an awesome time!  Oleg enjoyed playing with new friends (young and young-at-heart).  The funniest line of the weekend though was when we went to a small petting zoo with my Aunt and cousin.  Oleg saw they had some Popsicle and was asking me for one.  Meanwhile the cashier was putting ice cream cones full of animal pellets on the counter.  Oleg took one look at the ice cream cones and said, “I’m not going to eat that!”  We are started laughing hysterically and then explained to him that they were for us to feed to the animals, not for us to eat.  He was okay with them after that. 

Where do I come from?

I’ve heard from others and it seems to be true with us too — important conversations happen in the car.  Maybe it’s the lack of direct eye contact.  Maybe it’s because you’re both present and can’t go anywhere else.  No matter what the reason, we had one of those conversations this morning.

Oleg has been talking about wanting a brother or sister and has said a couple times that he thinks a baby is growing in my belly/uterus.  He said that again this morning in the car.  I answered that, but then I took it one step further.  I asked him if he knew whose uterus he grew in.  He said no, so we talked about that a little since he knows his birth mother’s name.  Then he said that his friend “R” grew in his Mama’s uterus.  I told him that yes, “R” did.  I said that some boys and girls, like “R,” grow in their Mama’s uterus and other boys and girls, like Oleg, grow in their Birth Mama’s uterus and then are adopted by their Mama and Papa.  Then he switched topics.  :-)   I think that he is just starting to get this and I’m sure we will talk about it more.

After our conversation and when I had some alone time (because Oleg was at a summer camp class), I thought that if a baby had grown in my uterus, Mama and Papa probably never would have found you Oleg.  It makes me tear up just to think of that possibility.  I am  so blessed to have Oleg.  I wouldn’t change anything.  Oleg you are my dear sweet boy and no matter if you grew in my uterus or my heart, you are mine forever!  I love you!

I’m not Oleg, I’m…

Oleg has continued to love his super hero’s.  The newest version of this is that when someone asks his name, he is a super hero instead of Oleg.  The other day when he and I went to get my car serviced, he told the lady that his name was Rex (a new comic book hero).  Today he took a class and told the lady his name was Ben 10.  After the class she told me he alternated between Ben 10 and Spiderman during the class.  I just shake my head and think that this phase will pass too.  And then I’ll probably miss it.  :-)

So, the class today was Oleg’s first summer class!  He went to a place called Marcy’s Clayground.  He got to explore bugs, play with clay, make some yard decorations (ladybug, bumble bee, and mushroom), have a snack, and I’m not sure what else.  I left him in a classroom full of little girls and was a little worried that he wouldn’t like being the only boy, but when I got back he was really excited and told me he had a fun time.  I just signed up for the one clay class, but since he liked it so much maybe we’ll try another class sometime during the summer.   Of course I’ve signed him up for lots of other classes this summer so we’ll see when we have time.  Oleg is going to swim classes, baseball class, Zoo class, a Pirate & Princess day, some classes at COSI, and Farm class.  Whew!  He definitely should not be bored this summer.

Like

At bedtime tonight after Oleg’s bath he said to me, “You know what Mama?  I like you.”  Of course I replied that I liked him too.  I love you from here to the moon and back Oleg!

Oleg and I have both been sick.  When he gets sick he might get a bit cranky but he doesn’t slow down much.  When I’m sick, especially this time, I slow down.  I’ve felt bad because I haven’t been able to run, play, and wrestle with him as much as usual.  I keep telling him that I’m sick, I need to rest, and then I will be able to feel better and play with him again.  I’m still not sure he quite gets it, because he still asks me to “move the world” but I think he’s trying. 

Sick boy

Oleg has his monthly illness again (just a cold I think).  Last month it made him incredibly cranky and difficult to be around.  I am so thankful that this time has not had the same affect!  He was a little bit grumpy, hyper, and out-of-sorts a few days before it began, but nothing too bad.  I think our first clue should be when he starts getting lots of time-outs.  Anyway, what I really wanted to write about was our very sweet interaction this morning.  Oleg woke up very early and I knew he needed more rest since he was sick.  I think it’s just a cold, but still rest will help.  So I tried to take him back to his room and tuck him in.  He DID NOT want to cooperate.  So I decided to rock with him instead.  This is something that in the past he has also fought so I thought he might fight me on it.  I was surprised when he actually cuddled onto my lap and asked me to sing “Rock A Bye Baby” to him.  I sang my own version since I didn’t remember all the words and honestly the real words are disturbing.  After that I hummed to him awhile.  Then he leaned back a little so he could see my face and he began to caress my face like I used to do to him when I was trying to calm him down.  I felt like his actions were telling me that even when he fought it in the past, it meant something to him and comforted him.  I followed his lead and caressed his face this morning, and told myself to write about this and treasure it.  I have tears in my eyes as I’m writing this.  It’s been a long journey and I’m sure the rough patches of the past will fade more as time passes.  I love you my sweet boy!

On a funnier note, Oleg wanted to play Shoots and Ladders before dinner.  I knew he was tired from being sick and having a busy day and I wanted to get dinner started, but I figured it was more important to spend a few minutes playing a game.  So he set up the game and we began to play.  I knew he was tired, but it was obvious as we played and he was very forgetful.  He would forget to roll the dice.  He would forget whose turn it was.  He would try to move my piece instead of his.  He would mis-count.  I kept getting him back on track and he would say, “Oh, right” or “Oh, yeah.”  Poor little guy.  Hopefully he gets a good nights sleep tonight.

March and April

Oh my goodness I’ve gotten far, far behind.  I’m sorry this is going to be long as I try to catch up…

Oleg celebrated his 5th Birthday on March 25.  He was soooo excited!  This was his second birthday with us.    Last year I don’t think he quite understood, but he definitely got it this year.  His birthday celebration lasted over several weeks as we celebrated with family, so I think that was fun for him too.  We celebrated Oleg’s birthday (plus mine, Michael’s Mom’s, and Wes’ Mom’s birthdays) the weekend of March 13.  The cake had everyone’s name on it, but Oleg called it his cake.  Thankfully he was happy to share with all the rest of us!  The weekend of March 20 we celebrated Jackson’s first birthday (Oleg’s cousin).  This time Oleg knew it was a party for Jackson, but he was pretty excited when he got some more early birthday gifts.  He also had lots of fun playing with his cousins.  On Oleg’s official birthday he celebrated with Michael and me.  We had his choice of dinner — hot dogs and broccoli.  :-)   Then came his favorite part, the chocolate cake in the shape of a fire truck.  Unfortunately I had trouble creating a red fire truck (red is a really, really hard icing color to create!!), but we substituted a yellow fire truck and everyone seemed to be happy with it.  Oleg definitely enjoyed the cake and gifts.  I think his favorite gift from us was PS3 Lego Batman.  He is officially a gamer now.  On the day after his birthday we went a library sponsored program — Super Hero hour.  He got to dress up like batman and had lots of super hero fun.  Then at preschool he got to celebrate his birthday.  On the weekend we had friends come over to celebrate Oleg and my birthday.  It was relaxed, like a big picnic, but lots of fun.  Oleg really enjoyed having all the kids over to play with him.  Plus people brought him more gifts.  He started to greet people at the door with “Hello.  Come on in.  What did you bring me?”  His final birthday gift came during Spring Break when we went to visit Babushka and Grandma and Grandpa D gave him some super hero action figures.  Lucky guy had a long and fun birthday.

For Easter we decided to stay home and celebrate so that we could all relax and enjoy our time together.  We went to an Easter Egg hunt at church the weekend before and I think Oleg really enjoyed it.  They had a lot of fun things for the kids to do inside before the hunt, plus some snacks and pictures with the Easter Bunny.  Oleg opted not to visit with the Easter Bunny and get a picture, but he did enjoy everything else.  Because of the number of kids at the Egg hunt we didn’t think he would get too many eggs, but he actually did pretty well and had fun.  Of course it was quickly over!  The Bunny also visited our house Easter morning leaving hard boiled eggs, plastic eggs, and a couple presents for Oleg.  Oleg again enjoyed his little egg hunt and getting a chocolate rabbit!

Around this same time, Oleg has decided to save the world.  He told me a couple times about how he was going to help people and be a police officer to help save people.  He even told his teachers at preschool about how he was going to get the bad person in Russia who crashed the subway train.  When I told him about a friend who was very sad because her mother suddenly died of a stroke, he told me about how he was going to take that stroke away and save her.  Oleg can just really be a sensitive soul sometimes.  Maybe some of it comes from his fascination with super heroes, but I think some of it is because he really does care about other people.  Whenever any child is crying, he takes notice and asks why they are crying.  He is very concerned that someone is taking care of the crying child.  Also, we read Oleg a book about Jesus and Easter and they apparently talked about it at Sunday School too.  Around and after Easter, Oleg would tell us about how he would get those soldiers and help Jesus.  It was so sweet of him.  I had trouble trying to explain to him that it happened a long time ago and that it was Jesus’ choice in order to save us.  I’m sure that he will eventually understand the story, but I can also understand now how confusing (and a bit traumatic) it is in the eyes of a child.

We planned a last minute vacation to Hocking Hills in the beginning of April.  Michael got a new job and wasn’t going to have vacation for awhile.  He decided to use up some of his accrued vacation with his previous employer before switching jobs.  We went to Hocking Hills State Park in Ohio for 3 days of hiking and relaxing.  Michael and I had gone before, but it was fun to go with Oleg.  He did really well on the hikes and sometimes even wanted to go further when we were done.  Of course he was also very tired at the end of the day (I didn’t think it could be done!!).  We even went canoeing one morning.  Except for it being a long time for him to sit still I think Oleg enjoyed his canoe ride and seeing all the snapping turtles sunning along the shore.  Another favorite for Oleg was the hot tub at the cabin.  It was a short trip, but I think it was just long enough for us to get away and not so much that it overwhelmed us.

On April 19, I got a chance to go with Oleg and his preschool class on a field trip to the Franklin Park Conservatory.  They have an exhibit called Blooms and Butterflies and it was lots of fun to see all the pretty flowers and all the new butterflies.  In addition the Conservatory did a neat program for the preschoolers telling them about the life cycle of butterflies before they saw the chrysalis and new butterflies.  During this program we all (me included) got to make a butterfly craft.  As we were later walking around looking at the butterflies there was a little girl (maybe 1 or 2) who was afraid of the butterflies.  I showed her my fake butterfly craft and she smiled.  I figured I didn’t really need it anyway and wanted her to have a good experience, so I gave it to her.  I was really surprised when Oleg got really upset with me.  He did not want me to give away my butterfly craft and wanted me to get it back.  When I said no, he pouted for awhile.  Even over the next several days he mentioned how if we made a butterfly again he didn’t want me to give mine away.  I don’t think of him as a jealous little boy, but that definitely showed me that he has a jealous side.

About once a month now, Oleg catches some sickness from preschool.  The good/bad thing is that I’ve begun to recognize when he latest sickness is coming on.  Unfortunately he becomes very, very grumpy, mean, and unreasonable.  I think it’s so surprising because he is an agreeable child most of the time now.  I really wish that he could just say, I feel crappy.  This past illness had a couple of grumpy days leading up to it and he was grumpy throughout his illness.  I have to say that it was not fun.  I know that he is suffering and I’m sure that a lot of it goes back to the years before he came to live with us, but it’s really hard to have a sick little boy that you want to comfort and he’s being a huge brat.  He also added a lot of “I hate you” and “I don’t want you” this time.  I really didn’t take it personally, but it’s still not fun to hear.  Plus I thought I wasn’t supposed to hear that until he was a teenage.  A friend mentioned that he was probably trying to test me and see if I was really going to be there for him.  I was through the thick and thin of it and hopefully only lost my patience a few times.  I wonder if there is a way to help him cope with illness better or if this is just something that he has to work out… that Momma and Papa will always be here.

I waited so long to write that I’m into May now.  Oh well, here’s a bonus… On May 7, Oleg’s preschool had a “Moms and Muffins” afternoon.  I was surprised when he got upset that I was going to drop him off at preschool and leave for a little while.  He really didn’t want me to leave between drop-off and 3pm.  He was finally satisfied when he decided what it was that I was going to do during that time — mow the lawn, play with his toys, and play some gun/shooting.  :-)   I did make sure to re-arrange some of his super hero toys before I went to preschool so it looked like I’d had fun playing.  At preschool we did a scavenger hunt, listened to a story, heard what our sons/daughters think about us (how old I am, my favorite food, where I work, etc.), then enjoyed a snack of muffins.  It was fun.  This week Michael gets to go for an early Father’s Day celebration — “Dads and Doughnuts.”  I think he’ll have fun too.

Telling “My Truth”

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged and I have many other stories beyond this one that I would like to share, but this has been requested and I feel that it is important.  In the news recently there have been stories about a little boy (Artyem) who was put on a plane and “returned” to Russia by his adoptive Mom.  As another blogger has so aptly put it, I use the term “Mom” very, very loosely for her.  I feel the adoptive Mom’s struggle, because I too struggled, but I cannot support her decision to give up on Artyem instead of seeking help.  There are so many places to look for help and so many people willing to help.  I feel she made a very poor and very selfish decision.  Real Mom’s do not give up on their children, no matter how difficult, even if the decision had been for him to live in a separate treatment facility.  Anyway, here is what I was asked to post:

A Call to Action issued by the Joint Council on International Children’s Services (whose members include many of the adoption agencies authorized to operate in Russia).

We Are The Truth

A Campaign and Call to Action

The outrageous treatment of Artyem by his adoptive family has rightfully resulted in outrage by the Governments of Russia and the United States and all who care about children.  The tragedy has cast a light on intercountry adoption that says it is not safe, the system failed and adopted children cause insurmountable problems.  The heartbreak of Artyem Saviliev’s abandonment has once again elevated a singular incident to a level which may result in the suspension of intercountry adoption.  Suspending adoption, even temporarily, will only cause thousands of children to suffer the debilitating effects of life in an orphanage.

You, the community of adoptees, adoptive parents, adoptive grandparents, child welfare professionals and child advocates know that the outrageous and indefensible actions of one parent are not indicative of how children are treated by adoptive families.  You know that families who encounter difficulties do not simply abandon their child.  You know that help is available, that solutions are found and that families can thrive.  And you know that suspending adoption does not protect children but only subjects them to the depravity of an institution…and an entire life without a family.

You, the adoption community know the truth.  You live the truth.  You are the truth.

Join our campaign to bring the truth to light and help children in need find a permanent and safe family.

What You Can Do

1)      Sign the letter to President Medvedev and President Obama: The letter asks both Presidents to ensure that intercountry adoption continues uninterrupted and to aggressively investigate and prosecute anyone involved in the abuse of children.  You can sign anytime, but doing so before Tuesday night would help us get the letters to both Presidents before President Medvedev leaves the U.S.   To sign the letter, click here.

First poem

Here’s my first post in forever, but this cracks me up.

Oleg talks non-stop, probably learned that from me.  Most of the time he’s talking about things he learned at school or what he did in Lego Indiana Jones’ video game.  More and more though he is making up his own stories.  Yesterday he composed, what I would consider his first poem.  It went :

Dear Dog,

I like your dog sense.

Amen.

Maureen and I lost it.

I can have chocolate now!

Sorry, this is going to be a long post.  I’ve been writing notes to myself about things I wanted to write since 3/6.  It’s nice to finally sit down and try to hash it all out.  Hopefully it makes sense, flows well, and is entertaining.  Happy reading…

As soon was we turned the calendar to March, Oleg has been super excited about his birthday.   Actually I think he was excited about it at the end of February, but it was more visual when he got to see it on the calendar.  He wants “everyone” to come celebrate on his birthday, but since it is mid-week, that’s not going to happen.  He is going to have to settle for several birthday parties (not a bad deal, really).  We celebrated his first birthday party (also shared with his Grandma E., Me, and Uncle Wes’s Mom… but Oleg said it was his birthday) this past weekend.  Oleg loved the presents, blowing out the candles, and the cake.  He was just so excited.  It was cute!  Then I had to explain to him, that he wasn’t quite 5 years old yet, even though we had just celebrated.  More excitement will come as he celebrates this Saturday with his cousin Jackson, then on the 25th (his actual birthday), his birthday day at preschool (26th), and finally a casual get-together the following Saturday.

There are signs that Oleg is exploring his place in this world more and more.  He had a discussion about eye color with me the other day and he insisted that he and I both had green eyes like Papa.  I told him that Papa does have green eyes, but Oleg and I have blue eyes.  He kept insisting on those green eyes though.  Instead I tried to find other ways that he was like Papa.

“I can have chocolate now!”  This has been Oleg’s starting discussion point with many people lately.  Even though Oleg was slightly allergic to citrus, I have been giving it to him (sparingly) because it is healthy for him.   Well, we really have not seen a reaction in awhile so I suggested that we have Oleg try some chocolate and see if he was still allergic to that.  We gave him 1/2 a bag of M&M’s one day and no reaction!  Oleg is a very, very happy little boy now.  He (of course) wants chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  We have talked about how too much chocolate can give him a toothache (after dental health at school) and that seems to help us give him some, but limit it to a reasonable amount.  The Easter bunny will definitely have to find a chocolate Easter bunny to deliver to him though. 

Poor Oleg seems to be catching everything in Preschool this year.  He said he didn’t feel well one Saturday evening and lo and behold he had a fever.  He progressed into what seemed like a cold and then into strep throat.  This is the second time he’s had strep throat this school year and he had an ear infection in between.  Thankfully I have an easy way to tell when he has strep throat (because he doesn’t say that his throat hurts) because he gets a huge, bright red “strawberry” tongue.  It’s an easy sign because it does look exactly like a strawberry.  Poor guy has missed being “Star Student” at preschool for the last several months because he always seems to end up sick on that day.   I used to think that he was such a healthy boy, but I guess it was just that he hadn’t been exposed to all the preschool germs yet.  Hopefully he’ll get healthier the more he is exposed!

Oleg went bowling with some of his soccer class friends — Will and Spencer.  One of the other mom’s suggested it and it was fun.  The boys only played one game and were loosing interest by the end, but they did well and had fun.  Oleg got a 71 and I was proud of him.  Spencer and Will have competitive streaks and would get upset when enough pins did not get knocked down.  I celebrated every bowl with Oleg, good or bad, and tried to keep him non-competitive.  There will be enough time in life for him to be competitive.  I just wanted him to have fun.

After some friends recommended it, we got the movie “Up” for Oleg to see.  He is a sensitive boy, so I wondered how parts, especially the beginning, would affect him.   He does get sad at the beginning when Carl’s wife Ellie passes away and he does realize that she is dead.  Like most 4 year olds though, as the movie continues and the action builds his sadness dissipates.  For me the two hardest parts of the movie are when Carl’s wife Ellie passes away because I see myself wanting to grow old with my husband too.  The other hardest part is seeing how Carl and Ellie wanted to have children and then couldn’t.  I can’t help but empathize and be sad.

I noticed as we were driving around the other day that Oleg does not know the names of all the construction vehicles anymore.  He still thinks they are really neat, but I’m the one who has to tell him what they are.  I still have on the refrigerator the cheat-sheet I made of the construction vehicles to help us learn them.   I know that as he learns new things so information will become less important, but I think this strikes me so much because it is some of the first English words he worked really hard to learn and know.  As Michael also pointed out the other day that Oleg used to point out every airplane that flew overhead (saying “sa-mo-yolt”).  Now, like the rest of us, they are part of the background noise of his life.  Oh how things change!

So a couple weeks ago, the kids were reading Dr. Seuss books in honor of Dr. Seuss’ birthday.  Around this same time, Oleg became enamored of the villain Dr. Doom.   As he would try to tell us stories he would often get Dr. Seuss and Dr. Doom confused until one day he apparently combined them for Michael and it became Dr. Duce!  Michael, obviously, thought this was quite hilarious.

Last, but not least, I am finally starting to get to have more of my Mommy talks with Oleg.  Over the weekend we were in Indiana celebrating a baby shower for Michael’s sister and husband.  It’s kind-of hard to explain an “invisible” baby to Oleg, so I pointed out Laura’s tummy and told him that the baby was growing in there.  He said okay and continued playing.  Later on the car ride home, Oleg’s first question was if Daddy’s grow babies in their tummies.  I told him that only Mommy’s grow babies and sometimes other people have extra fat in their tummies.  Then he talked about being a baby in my tummy and it was time to put all the reading I have done to use.  I told him that I wish so much that he had grown in my tummy, but that he grew in his Birth Momma L.’s tummy.  He seemed to accept this and started talking about gorillas instead.  I would have liked to talk more about it with him, but from what I’ve read it’s best to take his lead and only give him the information he has asked for and is looking for at this time.  It’s difficult to have these talks.  I’m glad I feel prepared.  I’m glad he is comfortable asking us.  I’m sure there will be more and harder questions to come.